SMF - Just Installed!

Author Topic: Coincidences are not always happy coincidences  (Read 852 times)

Offline timidlady

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Coincidences are not always happy coincidences
« on: January 15, 2020, 03:15:46 PM »
I'm almost done with the audible of this book. The idea of coincidences is very interesting. I have a lot of naturally occurring coincidences in my life, some quite large but many times quite twisted. I was pregnant very young and that is legally considered rape by state and federal law. My child was born on 9/11. My 2nd was born on the anniversary of my baptism which was also Mother's Day. Beautiful! Except that his father had child pornography addictions including incest. Who wants these coincidences? No one wants that. But I've always had an interest in collective kind of social energy especially with my 1st being born on 9/11. I'm wondering if that's why Obama called 9/11 a day of service, to attempt to change the social energy of this day. I do believe that you can influence your own body. I have cerebral palsy. My parents told me to never tell anyone I have it after we worked for years disappearing my disability. Now no one believes i have it. There are no CAT scans that show it. All that remains is a slight deformation of my right foot. Minor muscle spasticity probably mostly from being unfit. I'm called a liar when I say I have it, even to judges. Irrelevant, they say. I need my coincidences to make sense, not throwing me into a warped place of sorrow. I think it talks to me, the universe. I tried something myself today. I'm a truck driver. I was driving toward Atlanta. I tried to imagine projecting joy before me like a bubble around me, I was pushing a bubble of joy that way joy always proceeded me. I need it. I need it in my life as a driver, especially a disabled woman driver in the least truck friendly place in this country. So a long time was spent projecting this bubble of joy ahead of me because i85 is hundreds of miles. I cant listen to audible at night. Makes me tired. As the sun rose, this double rainbow appeared like it was the edge of my bubble and the sky above me cleared. Just right above, like the top of my bubble. The clouds were everywhere but above. It was kind of fun. but I lost my focus because traffic conditions worsened and it was gone as I my attention was solely on the driving. The sky didnt clear the rest of the day. I tried to mention the double rainbow at a service counter and the lady was distressed. I've never seen that reaction to a double rainbow. She started on about how, oh no! No more rain (there was no more rain). And how she wished the sun would come out (it did). See? It's like it's like I'm stuck in a warped reality. Who gets upset about hearing about double rainbows? All I said was I saw a double rainbow and this lady was extremely bothered by it. That's not normal. Where am I? I'm in some weird alternate universe. I don't like it here. When I was younger I had huge depression problems and took all different sorts of meds. Every type. Nothing worked. I think that's where I started slipping into this warped reality. So I'm happy to have found some guidance correcting my reality. I used to wonder if when I slipped into this messed up place if another version of me had stepped out of it, like sliding a whole giant series of me one step to the left. And I hoped this other she/me was happy wherever she went when she went because this is kind of a messed up place. Any ways, all coincidences are not happy ones.